new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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