so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
