Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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