I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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