i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
