just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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