How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
