Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
