I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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