How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
