it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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