No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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