Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
