apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
