yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
