Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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