the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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