Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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