Tell her she can't have a vagina
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
