Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
