if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
