I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
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If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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