Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
