He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
