Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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