Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
