im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
