saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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