You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
