Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
