It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
