So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
