So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
