You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You ever have a fart follow you around?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
