i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
