If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize