no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
