Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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