I'm really into asian looking animals
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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