So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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