Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
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Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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