yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
