all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
