so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
