So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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