It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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