My hair reeks of homosexuality.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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