I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
