1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My first STD was from a foam party
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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