This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.