my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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