He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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