I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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