When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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