I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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