dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
