wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
