Dual....:-)
Me too!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
