I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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