considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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