i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
