I think I died a long time ago.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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