spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
