Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
