Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We need to get me chipped asap
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
