He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
