i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
