i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
